In the past, I’ve been too pessimist that it affects my mental health and me being suicidal. I always see the bad possibility that can happen. Add that with analysis paralysis. When that happens, I closed my thought, and at worst, I’ve become depressed.
It was a gradual recovery, and a never-ending process, exactly like what this comic illustrates:
Now, I’ve been able to handle that proses better. I know what to analyze, and how to take the next action.
These are the learnings that helped me recovered.
Proactive is the first habit from the book of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Proactive people recognize that they are “response-able”. I learned that I don’t need to blame genetics, circumstances, or other external sources for my behavior.
The most enlightening part about this habit is the realization about “Circle of Influence” and “Circle of Concern”.
Circle of Influences are concern that I have some control over. My attitude, my behavior, what I buy, what I read, who I surround myself with, what I post in social media, and many other things.
Circle of Concerns are mostly concern that we don’t have control over. The news, coronavirus, other people’s behavior, political issues.
In the past I was very affected by my circle of concern. Even if my concern is for greater good (who don’t want a clean air and no traffic jam?), it’s outside of my influence. Instead of focusing on what is in my circle of concern, I can focus to enlarge my circle of influence, so that in the future my influence can encompass my concern.
This shift of focus allowed me to reduce my thinking scope into something that is much more manageable.
Getting Things Done
This is actually the title of a book: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen.
The book name is cheesy, but it actually explain about a really good framework. It allows me to open up my cluttered brain, and remove my analysis paralysis by doing a brain dump and let it settle for a while before going back to it in a well mannered approach.
I learned how to differentiate between a to-do list and a project. Whether a thought is actionable or not. If it isn’t actionable, what should be done with that? It’s an obvious thing that wasn’t obvious to me, and reading the book helped me clarify a lot of things.
On one of my conversation with my friend, he told me when doing a design document at his works on a high-risk project, he feels much safer, because people pointing out all the risks. Those people are not trying to shoot down the project but to understand how he will handle it.
In a short word, if things are going awry, what is the exit strategy?
We can also illustrate it with the following analogy related to Triathlon, a sports competition where you’ll need to run, bike, and swim to reach the finish line.
No matter how good you are, but if you can’t cover your critical weakness, you won’t reach the finish line. Read more about it in this presentation slide.
All those things helped me to have a healthier mind. But all of those wouldn’t be possible without me having a healthy relationship that helped me to break the chain, the circle of negative thought.
If you are still in a depressed state, please talk to a professional. When you are in a healthier mind, my experience probably will help you to fight your biggest enemy, your self.